4.29.2009
"sinking as softly as the rhythm will let me"
Capricorn
December 21 – January 19
Allow yourself to sink into a soft and gentle rhythm today in which you
harmonize with everything around you, dear Capricorn. Ease your mind about
any worries that crop up. Your intuition knows the way. The key is sensitivity
and emotions. This is your specialty. You don't need to be concerned about
details. Everything will work out perfectly on its own, so you needn't worry
that you haven't prepared yourself enough. Give yourself a break and relax.
1.3.2009
"the sickness that binds"
a teacher of mine often described family as
a tyranny run by it's sickest member
mine of course is run by my mother
and although
growing up it was just me mom against the world
all my sympathies where with her
when i was just a little girl
now....
not so much
and after two years
i don't even know
maybe three years she found me on facebook
i don't even use facebook
a friend
curse her name
made me do it
and for the last three months
incessant and without stop
e–mail after e–mail after e–mail
everyday
the same old shit
still pretending like there's nothing wrong
just updating her address book and needs my new info
i'm homeless i don't have any info
she tries to lure me in with the promise of christmas gifts and birthday presents
but to no avail
i have continued my boycott of communication
but now she's gone and done it
she hurt herself
she's fallen down as so many elderly do
even one of my sister's has gotten into the facebook game
and now i'm actually going to have to call these people
it won't be pleasant
it won't be sane
i'm just hoping no one expects me run to her bedside
and through all this
i can't help but think that she's done it on purpose
just to make me feel bad
to get me to answer her ridiculous e–mails
to get me to give a shit
now i ask you
who is the sickest member of this family
12.15.2008
"it mean that much"
so you deal
in the latest distraction
and you feel like you feel
but you don't know why
is it real
or just an overreaction
to what you hold so close
you forget how to see it clear
pushing through the intersection
pulling out in all directions
sorry to go on as such
but it mean that much
so you deal
in a regular fashion
with the fear of the fear
that you fear the most
and you feel
that a normal reaction
couldn't come to close
to what you wanted to be so real
pushing through the intersection
pulling out in all directions
so sorry to go on as such
but it mean that much
and if you want to feel the sunshine
you've got to get out of the rain
but by the time you finally
concede to be mine i'll be
looking to unclutch your touch
cause it mean that much
so you deal
in limited information
and you peel through the streets
like you're on your own
is it real or just a hallucination
like the holy ghost
you got nothing left to reveal
pushing through the intersection
pulling out in all directions
oh so sorry to go on as such
but it mean that much
12.15.2008
"so... i bought a video camera"
Capricorn
December 21 – January 19
Today you might consider making an investment of time and energy, and perhaps a
little money, in a creative project of some kind, dear Capricorn. This may also
involve modern technology in some way. You could have several colleagues who want
to work with you on this, and therefore the entire enterprise could be very exciting.
Be sure, however, not to lose sight of the practical details involved. Otherwise you
might never get it off the ground.
5.19.2008
"the meaning in the mixing bowl"
Capricorn
December 21 – January 19
The day ahead should be excellent. You've been searching for meaning behind recent
events in your life. No doubt, there have been a lot of changes both on the job
and at home. And you are bursting with new ambitions. Today, dear Capricorn, you're
likely to put all these new experiences into a mixing bowl, stir them up and be grateful
for the thrilling life you are leading right now! You may not have any specific answers,
but sometimes feeling grateful is an answer all its own.
5.15.2008
"all the time with this same old sad bastard bullshit"
as something to forget me by
i should have left my sight behind
i shoulda thought of something
i couldn't think at all
you might as well have left me blind
for all the good these eyes of mine
ever really did me
they never fit so false
but i'll find
sentimental thoughts here all the time
spinnin' in and out and in as i'm
left to roam on my own
and i'm fine
living here without you all the time
i've grown accustomed to the storms and strife
and these thorns in my side
as subtle as a finger tip
driftin' 'cross the oceans width
these lengths and breaths before me
never stood so tall
and who am i to think we'd last
considering that we fell so fast
forgive me in my future
forget me in my past
and i'll find
sentimental thoughts here all the time
spinnin' in and out and in as i'm
left to roam on my own
but i'm fine, fine, fine
living here without you all the time
i've grown accustomed to the stormy strides
and these thorns in my side
4.25.2008
"library meets with protest of totalitarian rule"
so i'm standing outside the library
waiting my 45 minutes to get my 45 minutes
i'm leaning against the wall
hiding in a sliver of shadow i've found
where the library wall meets that of a restaurant called tibetan kitchen
i'm singing to myself
as i often do when left unattended
this morning it was
the ben e. king classic
that i know more because of john lennon
stand by me
and the plea in that song
"stand by me"
is meant to be romantic in nature
as indicated by the succession of 'darlings' that precede it
but i'm thinking about the idea of people standing by me
picturing more and more people saddling up beside me
people of all different styles and makes
each one looking to desegregate
i'm thinking about this
this image that pans out until i'm completely lost in a sea of faces
and this woman out of nowhere
on her way into the library stops to say to me
i don't know what your doing
holding up that wall as some part of your job
standing under the tibetan kitchen sign in protest of chinas totalitarian rule
or just taking in the air
but what ever it is you're doing a great job
keep it up
thank you i retorted
thank you very much
i like to share the world too she said
as if she knew what i was thinking
maybe she did
and walked into the library
4.24.2008
"10 changes this world needs..."
1. humans killing humans
this has got to go
it is simply: silly
there are enough things in this world specifically designed to
"take you out"
we don't need one of them to be each other
2. learn to share
not near enough of this
i myself have been lucky to be the recipient of much generosity
but on the whole humans are much too selfish
especially americans
3. stop lying
to yourself and each other
we all do it
sometimes without even meaning to
but it only does us harm
throughout the whole of human history the liars get their asses stomped
and the truth tellers gain praise and applause
everytime
4. desegregate
long ago as punishment for our arrogance
g.o.d. in its infinite "wisdom" split us (it's children) into different groups and factions
then sat back and watched us fight, maim and kill over it
it's time to unite people
we are the only earthlings in the vast expanse of the universe
if we don't like us
then nobody will
5. love
hate to sound like a patchouli stinkin' tree huggin' hippy liberal here but...
it truly is the only thing there's just too little of
love more or more to the point
when you do
show it
6. confess
...and i'm wondering what it will take
for my [world] to rise
first we admit our mistakes
and then we open our eyes
– a.difranco
we've all made them
anyone claiming otherwise is one of those liars we were talking about
7. forgive
all things can be forgiven
scary words to some
salvation to others
forgive yourself
forgive everybody else
and move on
life's too short to spend it holding onto grudges
8. conserve
i know it seems like this endless supply
but it ain't
the less we use today
the more we'll have for the next day
and the next day
and the next day, etc...
9. be brave
oh, humans and our fear laden hearts
we spend so much time convincing ourselves to be scared
scarcely realizing that most of the time what we fear
fears us even more
fear is a futile pointless crazy for feeling blue sort of thing to do
so don't
10. chill
the planet may be moving at a million miles a minute
but we don't have to
relax, kick back, cool it, calm down, stop
and smell the fucking roses
they're in bloom and begging to be noticed
with this my 10 point plan to earthly salvation
you too can live in a world worth living in
and not one run down and brutalized by the other guy…
now; what do we do about my sorry state of affairs?
4.21.2008
"saving the world one self at a time"
Capricorn
December 21 – January 19
A lot of people around you might think that you are a very strong tempered individual,
dear Capricorn. For instance you stand against the pre–established social order of this
society. But you can also be a very constructive person and you try to influence the
world around you for the better. Today you will have all the time in the world to
meditate about the changes this world needs.
can't save myself but now i've been enlisted to save the world
great!
who handed out these assignments?